Battleship Iliad
by QQQ p
Summary: Captain' Friederman comes back from retirement as Captain of the Battleship Iliad. With everyone commenting on his age there are several people who'd rather that he stayed at home. Maybe he should have...
1. Part1

It was a sunny day. The wind was blowing in and out of the willows on Fig street. The tall old houses reached up into the sky all well kept and clean. It was a bright new morning for Samuel Friederson. The alarm clock that had been set for nine read seven. He rolled over in the double bed. His wife was still asleep and so he got quietly up from the bed and wrapped the covers closer around her. Friederson was a tired old grumpy grey haired man who'd used to be in the military. He was retired now and was enjoying the rest of his life. His two children Thomas and Sarah had been through the system and now were running stable jobs. Thomas was in the stock exchange and Sarah was a weather presenter on UED forecast. He turned on the television every second Thursday just to see her speak. 

He missed not having the children in the house. He knew that the main reason they'd moved out was because he'd been such a grumpy man. They phoned him now and again but never as much as he wanted. He sighed and looked out through the shutters. The mail man was delivering some letters - probably bills.

Samuel shook his head and walked across the room into the bathroom. Closing the door he took a nice hot shower. Stay away grey was on the shelf. He used that but it seemed to do little for his aging scalp. He would have done better he thought to himself to die it a colour of some sort though whether his deepening wrinkles would betray him or not was another matter.

When he was done he exited and wrapped a large rainbow coloured towel around his waist and walked down the stairs of the large house. The sun that came in through the half closed windows was illuminating all the morning dust in the air. Even so the house felt fresher than it usually did. Betty his wife had hoovered and dusted the day before and made a hell of a racket doing so as well. Why couldn't she be quieter when she was cleaning? Just because she was cleaning the house didn't mean she had to push everything out the door including him!

He grumbled entering the living room he turned on the flat screen television. He'd long ago mastered the art of manipulating that darn box and holding his towel in place at the same time. He'd got a real knack for it by now. He swore as he put his finger to the screen and entered the wrong access code. Finally he got it right and several screens popped up large and small with various channels and features. He looked briefly for the control and cursed being unable to see it. The bloody thing had probably fallen down the side of the sofa again. He touched the screen and a picture maximized showing a sport game.

Stretcher-bearers were taking a bloody nosed man off as the crowd cheered his leg bent at an odd angle. A glowing ball was whacked across the sky and passed into a hoop and the crowd went wild.

"Well Jimmy, I ain't seen a game quite as good as this one before. So far its neck and neck for both teams. I didn't think they'd equalize but they have. If it keeps up the way its been going then we'll have to go to sudden death"

"I hear ya. They've lost six players already and sudden death would lose both teams a lot more. If it comes to that then the managers won't be happy. It just highlights how violent these games can be. People don't realize how -"

Samuel grumbled and tapped the screen. The picture disappeared and a new options menu came up. He wasn't interested in sport. He tapped another different screen, which maximized. A large title appeared in blood red letters filling the screen dramatically "War update".

"Hello and welcome to the morning news. You're listening to me Tommy Sanders and Lizzie Barker. Right now in the studio we've got with us Alexis commander and Admiral of the UED fleet who's going to give us the ins and outs of the coming invasion and removal of the evil dictator Mengsk. So Alexis how are you feeling about the war so far?"

Alexis was a dark haired man who spoke with a strong Russian accent. He was wearing a grey suit with a dark red tie and seemed confidant yet somehow not all that brazen with the cameras pointing at him.

"Well Tom! What can I say? This er... war you mentioned, has not even er... how shall I say? Began. What we the people in charge need to be doing at the moment is organizing the army and getting the required number of troops and men to man all the extra seats we are going to need"

Lizie Barker spoke next, "There's been a lot of talk recently amongst government officials of bringing in compulsory conscription for those between twenty and thirty-five. Can you shed any light on that?"

Alexis shook his head, "No no no, that is not true. From what I have been told UED has no intention of introducing conscription to the people. It is unviable to have civilians doing a soldiers job. We want trained men not people who'd sooner bunk than battle. What the military is doing is er... trying to persuade former soldiers and young men to join the campaign of their own free will. There are plenty of people in the world willing to serve their planet for us to avoid such a rash idea as you mentioned"

"How do you see yourself beginning the campaign?" asked Tommy Sanders

"Good question! We're going to launch an intelligence based attack on the Dylarian shipyards. A good part of Mengsk's fleet is kept there under supervision of a former admiral and traitor to UED Edmund Duke. Because Mengsk is so far away and isn't able even to know of the upcoming attack it's safe to speak about it on television as we would not normally be doing. We plan to steal the docked fleet and add it to our own. Ghost squadrons and specially trained infantry will be going down in strike forces to take the cruisers and deal a massive blow to Mengsk at the beginning of the war"

Samuel grumbled and tapping the screen again the screen turned itself off. Walking across the room he walked through to the hallway where he found several letters on the welcome mat. Grumbling he bent down and picked the lot up and took them into the lounge where he sat down with them on the sofa. Grudgingly he picked through the bills. He stopped as one letter caught his eye. It was a silver plastic envelope with UED written on the side. He opened it and took out the contents.

"Dear Samuel Friederson

Upon finding you on the database as a retired veteran of the fifth Mar Sara uprising and with the upcoming war Head quarters found it appropriate to ask for your service to the planet in the Mengsk conflict to come. Duly noted your retirement is currently an issue - to make up for this with our current need for captains as a priority and should you accept the terms and conditions following you will be posted as Captain of the Battleship Iliad following the command of Alexis Admiral of the UED fleet. Your wages will be standard for such a post plus the same amount in full added to your pension fund. This money will not be seized by the state should you die in combat but will be accessed by your family or relatives - refer to article four of small print.

Details of wages and times of required duty are enlisted on the following pages of this document. If you find the terms agreeable please send us a virtu-mail to the enclosed address and report to Kal-Faruga Starport at 02:30 pm 6th April of this year. We hope to see you there, ready to defend the Terran empire.

Yours Sincerely:  
Vice Governer Tarraman

Please turn over.

"Captain?" said Samuel looking at the document with wide eyes, "They want to make me a captain of a Battleship?"

"You want to do what!?" laughed Betty looking at him over the table with wide eyes

Samuel sat back into the sofa and looked at his grey haired wife with a nod, "I want to take up the offer. It would be nice to get some extra money in ..."

"We don't need any more money Samuel!" she interrupted, "We have a nice house and we are respectably retired. There's no way you need to let those blood sucking men pull you in to their little war game! They have no right at all Samuel! No right at all. Even if they did introduce conscription you're way over the age. Honestly! At your age as well how could you even think about it?"

"I can do what I damn well want to!" said Samuel with a wave of his hand, "I'm not as old as I look. Your only as old as you feel that's what they say!"

"Oh yes!? You can't even get it up let alone hold a rifle. Don't you give me that bullshit there's no way you'd last two seconds out there!"

"Betty don't be stupid! They're asking for me to be a captain not a god damn soldier don't you understand? I won't be doing fighting just sipping cups of coffee and ordering young men around. All I have to say is fire rear engines, lock target er what was it? Fire Yamato on my mark. I've had numerous jobs like it before but as captain? Betty don't you understand what an honor it would be for me to serve as Captain of a battleship? The big boss!"

Betty sighed, "Why can't you be the big boss at home Sammy? You've been a big boss for years you don't have to go out and be one with UED. If you need a hobby or something..."

"I don't need a bloody hobby!" he roared, "I'm a bloody groan man and I don't waste my time on bloody hobbies. Bloody youths spend all their bloody time on hobbies and cinemas and bloody computer games. In my day everyone had to serve at least a year in the army! Most people saw it fitting that they should spend more than that time! What happened to that eh? It's the same as always the older tougher generation will have to save the weak younguns - its Darwinism in reverse I tell you!"

"Oh don't be such a bloody cinic Sam! I've been listening to that same old rubbish for years!"

"I don't speak rubbish woman! If there's one thing I don't do its talk rubbish!"

"Oh yes you do! I listen to this night and day..."

"Not another word Betty! I'm through with this conversation..."

"Well I'm not through with you, you old wheeze bag. How do you think I'm going to feel while you go out and play soldier!?"

"Betty I'm warning you!"

"Well I'm warning you as well you old geezer!"

"What did you call me!?"

"Oh didn't you hear you old geezer? You're obviously going deaf as well. With someone with small feet bad eye sight and failing ears I can't see you commanding a battleship!"

"And what did you ever command woman?"

"I command respectability in my own neighborhood! What am I going to say to Trevor next door when he asks where have you gone? What shall I tell him Sam? My husband has gone off to shoot guns at people in a galaxy far, far away?"

"Oh you are taking this far too seriously Betty! You are taking this way over your head!"

"If you take that job Sam! If you dare take up that job then..."

"I'm warning you Betty! Don't take this conversation in that direction because..."

"Just Shut up! Just shut up you stupid fucking old man!"

"Oh yes whose respectable now miss fuck-lips?"

"How dare you!"

"Ditto-doo-doo Betty!"

"Scum-bag!"

"I'm through! I'm going for a walk Betty! You hear me I'm going for a walk!"

"Good! And you know what? Maybe I won't be there when you get back. Maybe I'll have gone and joined the fucking medic squadron arse-hole!"

The door slammed. Turning Betty stormed across the room to the broom cupboard. Taking out the vacuum cleaner she slammed in the plug and turned it on crossing it fiercely back and forth across the red carpet.


	2. Part2

The two sat in an office. A large blue window made of blue tinted glass was across the back wall. Through it rows of wraiths (light fighter ships capable of cloaking) were docked. Large metallic walls could be seen stretching up into the blue sky so that only a little bit of sky could be seen. Distantly a huge Battleship was docked at an angle and shouts from speakers could distantly be heard as men ran around. 

"Samuel Friederson is it?" said a bald headed man quietly, "It's a pleasure to meet you - Captain"

There was little light in the room, most of it coming from the blue window which tinted everything in the room in a dark deep blue reaching foremost across the shinny desk and going little further.

"A pleasure to do duty sir!" said Sam leaning across the desk the two smiled and shook hands.

"I have to say," said the man at the desk glancing up at Sam who was wearing a suit, and then down at the papers, "...That you are older than I expected. Still no harm ever came to that"

"True! Back when I worked aboard the Battleship Titanic we had a saying that a Captain's only as good as the number of grey hairs on his head"

"A good saying!" laughed the man, "What post did you serve aboard that ship?"

"Vice Captain sir. Before that I was 2nd Engine post on the Battleship Norad"

"Ah yes of course it was you who held a post on that ship. An interesting history is wrapped up around Norad you know. Do you know where Norad is working now?"

"No sir," replied Sam honestly, "I do not"

"Shortly after you left Norad, it became the command ship for the general Edmund Duke. It was upgraded with a liquid hyrathrane nuclear plating and now sadly after Mengsk's revolution resides still with Edmund Duke at the other side of the galaxy"

"I'm sorry to hear that sir," said Sam

"Stop calling me sir captain! Currently you hold no post in the UED but if you sign this form that I'm about to give you then I'll be calling you sir! A pity for Norad indeed. You had quite a jump from Engine corps to Vice Captain..."

"It was quite a long time ago now," laughed Sam, "But I'm up for it all the same"

"Indeed," nodded the man, "Normally of course we don't except people your age in the UED but a position of Captain or higher is treated differently. You will find Captain I am certain to be a much bigger leap than you expect, far more than Engine corps to vice captain. Here's the form," he said putting a long piece of paper forward.

Sam took the paper and began reading. He looked around briefly with a worried look on his face, "Sorry is there a pen I could er..."

"Here take mine," said the man giving him an expensive looking fountain pen. Sam put his signature on the dotted lines and smiling handed the paper back to the man.

"Well done Captain," smiled the man, "You made the right decision. Report back here in a week and we'll start the preparations in getting you acquainted with your crew and ship. I think you will find that the Battleship has changed quite substantially since when you were last in command. The results of the modern Battleship are quite impressive to say the least"

"Thank you sir, I mean..."

"The name's Mr.Mead. It was a pleasure meeting you Captain Friederman"

"Aye aye to that," laughed the captain

Elated Sam left the room and came out into the waiting room where various men and women some dressed up in camouflage were waiting to see some official of sorts. A speaker sounded with a short chime.

"Please will engine team four and the staff of runway six please report immediately to generator five for a core-temperature check-up"

It was much brighter out here than in the office. Why that had been Samuel wasn't entirely sure. Some people just didn't like fresh air and light. Passing through automatic doors Sam passed down a long plastic corridor that was completely see through. Below him vast streams of traffic were passing on one of the main roads that passed through the star port. Turning and glancing briefly at a complicated sign he entered through electric sliding doors into the cafeteria. Finding the table he sat down with Betty who was wearing a red dress. Her dark hair was done up in a bun so that the grey strands seemed ever more present. She was crying.

"Oh Betty!" sighed Sam putting his arm round her, "It won't be for long you know that don't you! Chin up girl! I'll be back before you know it"

"Sam I don't want to lose you!" she sobbed, "I hope you're making the right decision"

"Of course I am dear! There's no greater act than to serve one's people. I'm not going to die Betty"

"But people die in war Sam! That's what happens!" she said tears streaming down her eyes

"Listen," he said lifting her chin so that her eyes faced his, "When was the last time you heard of a Battleship crashing?"

She shook her head, "You don't remember right? Battleships don't get shot down, they're just too big an object to get blown out of the sky. Even so it won't be me doing the fighting. Most of the time the Battleships stay out of the battles which are done by you know, the grunts. Wraiths and Vulkerie fighters move in and obliterate air forces while Siege Tanks, infantry and those Vulture bikes take the ground. Battleships are like mountains Betty. People run down them to attack the enemy. We just stay put and defend the air space above the battleground. If things get too hot then most of the time Battleships pull out and leave long before they take any serious damage"

"I know, I know!" she cried, "But I'm still going to miss you Sam,"

"And I'll miss you too Betty but I'll be back you'll see. Its my last chance Betty! In a few years time they're going to pass a law stopping old 'geezers' like me from going in to battle"

"I wish they'd pass it now," she said dryly

"Oh Betty!" he chuckled, "You always were such a spoil sport. I'll send a virtu-mail every day while I'm away and keep you informed as to what we're doing. Think of the money Betty and all the holidays we can go on"

"I'm going to miss you," she sighed putting her arms round him

"I'll miss you too Betty," he whispered, "Mengsk won't last a second against the UED"

"I hope you're right," she replied

The days passed in a frenzy of preparation and soon Sam found himself through the week and out the other side. Betty waved good-bye for the last time as he set off with a first class ticket on the Super Train. When he arrived at the station he took a cab to the entrance of Kal Faruga star port. He had never actually been to Kal Faruga before the time he had had the interview with Mr.Mead. It was a large Starport used a lot less by the public. It was a large port but a large section of it was cut out especially for the military which was why civilians didn't use it as much. During the coming war the airport had commissioned extra runways to be set aside for the growing orbitary fleet. Usually other Starports were used for civilians visiting colonies like NewGatwick. Apparently space travel tickets had gone up to pay for the war or at least that was what the newspapers were all implying. It was lucky Sam was part of the war and not planning on traveling by him self. His lips smiled as he thought of being in command of a fully operational Battleship.

He walked in to the entrance of the second military runway where Iliad was docked. After passing up several escalators and asking for advice at information desks he came to corridor forty two where he met with a man in a suit who shook his hand.

"Hello, you must be Samuel Friederson am I right?"

"That's right," replied Sam shaking the hand firmly

"Follow me and I'll take you to your apartment for the night"

They passed up yet another escalator and passed another huge blue window where the battleship could be seen docked with people swarming over it cleaning and preparing.

"Is that her?" asked Sam

"That's the one," grinned the man, "A fine beauty. Every Battleship is unique as I'm sure you know. Iliad though is a fine craft. You're one of ten captains to be trying out the new steering engine they've installed. Anti-gravity phasar markers or something - I'm sure the engineers can give you a better explanation of it than I can"

"How many crew members are there?" asked Sam warily

"Twenty five in all. Amazing isn't it? I find it incredible how such a huge ship can be manned by such few people"

"It used to be seventeen in my day. Why the extras?"

"New regulations. The Battleship Excalibur took off for the moon, to deliver Uranium for the construction of nuclear missiles. As you know its illegal to manufacture them on the planet... anyway mid flight it was revealed that the oysters that fifteen members of the crew had eaten on a maiden voyage feast hadn't been all that fresh. Three crew members died including the two on board doctors. Nine others were incapacitated and the Battleship was held in orbit round the moon for an entire month while the authorities organized a team to be sent up to help out. The Battleship at the worst could have crashed into the moon base with the Uranium. It was headline news - I'm sure you remember it"

"I do," replied Sam, "I remember that incident very well"

"Authorities insisted that we have the extra crew members just in case such an event were to happen again. Ah I believe this is your room," he said opening an electric door with his presence. Samuel walked into the tiny room and looked at the bed.

"Its … cozy," he grimaced

"You won't be here for long captain. The tryouts begin tomorrow; General flight patterns, intercourse between ships etc. Day after is a standard navigation of warp speed. Repair simulations, battle simulations should such an unlikely event occur and of course information on the primary weapon the yamato gun. With all that I'm sure we can refresh your memory"

"Is it just er..."

"You taking the tests? No sir. All Captains must endure these basic training programs just to acquaint them with the ship before they take off. You aren't the only senior person to be a Captain in the fleet. The general himself is quite old - but anyway I will leave you to your rest. There's a computer you can use on the desk. Load it in the morning and it should bring up your timetable and additional information automatically. If I were you I'd go through some of the information on the Iliad this evening"

"Thank you," replied Sam with a nod

"My pleasure," replied the man and leaving the small cubicle door slid shut with an electric hiss.

Sam gazed out of the dark green tinted window at the Battleship. He pressed a button and the small window moved to one side. It was too small to jump out of, presumably something the starport staff had thought of. Still a small child could easily fit through the window - not that children would be working in the military department of Kal Faruga starport. After finding the roaring wind that coursed through too much along with the noise of distant speakers and huge engines roaring he eventually closed it so that the noise was completely silenced.

Sitting down he turned the computer on. It loaded instantly and a female voice spoke, "Please present eye for military iris scan"

Sam did so a small flash of light passed over his line of sight in less than a second. It was hardly bright enough to hurt. Several companies selling iris-scanning technology had been sued when the invention was first issued on the markets for damaging people's eyesight. There were still discussions about the medical problems today on whether it was a good thing or not. It had mostly been refined to military activity now after the group called Secure Liberty had virtually forced the world government to act and reduce security cameras and other hindrances to people's privacy.

"Welcome Captain Friederson," said the computer voice, "You have not been with us for some time. Would you like me to update you with the basics of the Battleship Iliad, the changes that have been made in design, the changes in vocabulary command, or the advanced standard schematics?"

Sam tapped his finger on the screen on the 'vocabulary' option. A screen came up showing a hastily made 3d modeled captain talking to crewmembers. A red light flashed on the side of the computer.

"Sorry to interrupt you Captain but you have a transmission connection awaiting. Would you like to pause the simulation and connect or continue with the simulation?"

Samuel clicked on the 'pause' button and waited as the red light continued to flash.

"Please lift receiver," said the voice

Sam looked around for the receiver. He lifted up a pen pot to look underneath but it wasn't there.

"Please lift receiver," repeated the voice exactly the same half a minute later

"Where is the bloody receiver?" he growled

"Voice command recognized," said the computer, "Receiver is located to your left"

"Heh this thing comes with voice command?" chuckled Sam and finding the receiver he picked up the headphones and put them on.

"Hello?" he said

"Hey Dad! Is that you?" said the voice

"Sarah! What the devil are you doing ringing me up?"

"Keep your hair on dad!" laughed the girl's voice, "I'm only checking up on you! I can't believe you're going back into the army!"

Sam sighed and slouched, "Are you disappointed?"

"No," she chuckled, "surprised but not disappointed I guess. You sure you're up for it all? I mean you are getting on a bit"

"You're as old as you feel Sarah how many times have I told you that? Now don't you worry about me I'm going to be just fine"

"Mother's shitting bricks," laughed Sarah. Sam's face cringed but he overlooked her choice of language.

"You'll never guess what!"

"What?"

"They've hired me to represent UED network for the news broadcasts. Can you believe that? It's a huge promotion!"

"That's great Sarah!" beamed Sam, "That's wonderful. It makes me proud of you!"

"Thanks dad," she giggled down the phone, "Apparently I'm attractively adequate!"

"Heh, you are a pretty little thing you know that? Its wonderful for me to see you on the television every now and again. I want you to just keep going the way you are. I bet the boys are all over you aren't they?"

"Don't make me embarrassed Daddy!" she laughed, "Besides I'm ringing because of you not me. I'm worried about you going out there by yourself"

"If its by myself you're worried about then you needn't be. There's going to be minions and technicians advising me constantly. Heh I doubt I'll get a moments peace on the entire trip but boy you will laugh if you found out how much they're paying me"

"How much?" she asked frankly

"Don't you be so damn nosey!" he ordered down the phone, "Enough okay? Anyway when you finally decide to get married they'll be plenty enough for a decent honeymoon when I've finished this job"

"I love you dad," she said down the phone, "Don't get hurt okay?"

"Since when did kids start advising their fathers? Alright sweet-heart I'll be careful for you. For me you be careful at mealtimes. They won't let you on TV if you get obese"

"Dad!"

"Just kidding honey. I love you too. Listen you can send me a virtu mail any time you like. I'll send you some as well if you like"

"Alright. I'll speak to you later"

"See you honey. Good luck with the job!"

"You too!"

"Bye!"

Putting the receiver down Samuel smiled and clicked on the 'resume' button. It was a big day tomorrow.

---

Stuff: Thanks for reading. I know you Starcraft people are big on grammar so if I've made some Grammer mistakes please tell me exactly how I've done them so I can do something about it. I hope you like it so far.


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